Sooooo I joined weight watchers and nearly poo’ed myself when I found out that one cup of my store-bought granola was TWENTY ONE POINTS. OUT OF THIRTY. I had completely screwed myself for the rest of the day, knowing that my evening wine takes up a solid ten points and there was literally no way I was going […]

I am literally melting right now. It’s 100 degrees in June, IN THE MIDWEST, which is always in a constipated state when it comes to a cool breeze that those on either coast get to experience. We have zero relief. And if any wind from the Mississippi blows in your direction, you hold your breath […]

  You ever feel after a great nights sleep (are those even still possible?) that an elephant is sitting on your eyeballs?  I’m on cup of coffee numero tres and am considering stapling my eyelids to my brow bone right now just to get me through until my mid afternoon nap. Yes, that is part […]

So I went foraging for some edibles this weekend, Morels, to be exact.  And the moral of my morel? Don’t do it. Really. Unless you are 100 percent guaranteed to find a pot of fungi gold. I found one lousy shroom  and a tick who made a nice little home on my scalp. The little […]

Pavlova cake aka stacks of meringue layered with whipped cream, blueberry lemon compote and fresh fruit. aka enough said.  I had actually intended on making this layered cloud of sensory perfection for my sister only to have eaten half of it before she could even get her hands on it. I’m basically a child when […]

  So I  bought a ‘dial’ scale the other day and literally I’m a terrible person. I’ve purposely set the dial to start in the negative pound range, so now when I step on the scale I am exactly 7 pounds lighter, always. The best part about this? Some mornings I totally forget what I’ve […]

  Valentines day. While people profess their undying love to one another, us singletons are reminded that we are still single and are on the road to having extreme liver failure or type 2 diabetes with the amount of sweets and alcohol we must inhale consume  to make ourselves feel momentarily better for 24ish hours.  Or maybe […]