When someone asks me to go on an impromptu swimsuit shopping trip with them:
Don’t ever ask me that. Seriously. Don’t. Or if you plan on it at least ask me a week in advanced so
a) I can work on eating air.
b) I can prepare to shave my legs because, well, winter = pants only = zero maintenance = 5 new razor heads needed for one shower period
c) I can spray tan on some abs & calves.
d) I can expose myself to a virus 4 days ahead so come D-Day I can cancel the whole death by shopping experience and feel zero guilt while having fresh legs and a skin color that is similar to an oompa-loompas.
Dramatic? No. I’m not. Plus. Store lighting is the worst. And I’m pretty sure all stores out there use the same lighting, flouresucks. And then you realize you simply can’t go to the pool naked or dressed in a full on wet suit (because, Missouri) so you are forced to buy an over priced piece of public lingerie and leave the store feeling horrible and poor.
Always look on the bright side of life? Said the most annoying human being ever.
But what isn’t annoying? This recipe I’m about to share with you. And it is actually something super yummy to look forward to with this warmer weather quickly approaching. Pork Bahn Mi Endive Boats. Light on the belly, heavy on the flavor.
The longer you marinate, the better. So if you can prep this the day before (the marinating) DO it. And while you are at it you might as well pickle the vegetables the night before as well. Hell, why don’t you even just bake yoself a batch of cookies for being so damn productive.
Oyster anddddd fish sauce? Yeahhhh. Because they’re worth it. But for real. I mean, I’m not telling you to spoon feed yourself the damn crap out of the bottle. Don’t do that, gross. But they both are key ingredients for making the pork oh so tasty. Trust. Obey. Do it. And if you only have oyster sauce? Use soy sauce in replacement of the fish (bc it’s super salty). Or you can’t even begin to think about purchasing oyster sauce? Use black tar instead. Kidding (it just looks like it). Use brown sugar. Or honey. Something sweet. Again, these are for sure different flavored replacements, but they at least are on the same track of sweet vs salty.
And for those of you who just can’t handle the jalapeño heat (but really are missing out, wussies) go ahead and pickle them as well (separately from the carrot/shallot mix or else you’ll be left with spice all over the place). Just reserve about 1/4 cup of the pickling juice for the jalapeños.
Also. The thought of not making this as a traditional sandwich makes you want to write me a nasty e-mail? Don’t you worry. Check out the recipe that I have here (also recipe notes are basically the same, because plagiarism isn’t a thing when you copy/paste your own writing).
- 1 lb Pork Tenderloin, sliced into ½" cubes
- 1 endive, stem removed leaves removed for "boat"
- 2 tsp minced garlic
- 2 tsp fish sauce
- 2 tbsp oystser sauce
- 3 tbsp olive oil
- ½ red onion minced
- ½ lb carrots, julienned (matchstick)
- 3 large shallots, peeled & sliced into rounds
- 1 cup water
- ½ cup rice vinegar
- ½ cup apple cider vinegar
- 2 garlic cloves, minced
- 3 tbsp honey
- 1 tbsp kosher salt
- Radishes, thinly sliced
- Jalapeños, thinly sliced into rings
- Sriracha sauce (optional)
- English Cucumbers sliced thin (optional)
- Garnish with Cilantro (Optional)
- First prepare the marinade for the pork. In a large ziplock bag add all of marinade ingredients except pork and mix together. Next add your pork, seal bag, and shake untill each piece is fully covered in marinade. Let sit in fridge for as little as 3 hours or over night. Remove 30 minutes from fridge before cooking and let sit at room temperature.
- Once you are ready to cook, in a large pan over medium - high heat add your pork and cook for about 4 minutes (or until pork is JUST cooked, don't over do it) Remove and cover with foil until ready to use.
- An hour before serving (may make this a couple of days ahead of time if you want) in a medium pot over high heat add water, vinegars, garlic, honey and salt. Bring to a boil. Add carrots & shallots. Bring to a boil again and then turn off heat and remove. Let cool to room temperature and serve (or fridge in an airtight container).
- Add about a ¼ cup of pork to each endive boat and then top with pickled vegetables and optional fresh veggie toppings. Drizzle on Sriracha if desired. Serve!