Current happenings in my life, myself on dinner dates. Me: Orders food, politely picks at food, being sure to chew like 100 times per bite. The moment date leaves for the bathroom:   The moment date returns far too quickly from bathroom trip, clearly forgetting to wash hands: The struggle is real. Which is why dinner dates […]

  Currently experiencing Monday Morning anxiety #thestruggleisreal. Or more like, #iputwaytoomuchsugarinmycoffeeandicantstopshaking Now picturing how in seven years there is a very strong chance my life synopsis will be comparable to Matt Foley’s, however praying that the van at the very least is an airstream.  Thank you Mondays, for bringing out my inner negativity and making me look […]

This bowl is everything I am wanting to be on this Sunday evening, drunken//drunk. Keyword, wanting. Meaning, I am very much not, but it would be a lot cooler if i was (actually probably not at all). According to my google skillz, rumor has it that Drunken Noodles were named after someone who drunkingly stumbled home and […]

I was looking pretty rough yesterday after a long weekend of obviously drinking a ton of water and green juice, that I decided to take my unfortunately pale body with day old mascara for a nice jog through the park. And being the Jersey girl that I am, there is nothing that a little GTL can’t fix. Everything […]

Every day I’m hassling. No, seriously, I am. Sweet potato hasselbacks are literally exploding in my kitchen. I made so damn much that I have enough to last me a life time. My freezer looks as though I’m a doomsday prepper. That or just another mid westerner preparing for the next twister to lift me off […]

GUYS ITS FINALLY BASEBALL SEASON! And I literally couldn’t care less. Well, I couldn’t have cared less until I moved to St. Louis. You basically have to root for the Cardinals in order to be socially accepted into any circle. Granted my circle might just be me and my son, however, I’m pretty sure he […]

I can’t tell if the title of this post is drool-worthy or incredibly unappetizing. But I can tell you that the actual outcome is prettaaaay…… bomb 😉 Also – lets address the elephant in the room here. it’s been A WEEK since I last posted anything on the blog. Like. what!? I wish I had some […]

So, I hope your weekend was as wild and crazy as mine was.  Just kidding. I had the early bird special with my future roommates. And by roommates I mean my parents. Yes. I fully realize I’m about to commit social suicide by living with the people who birthed me, considering the fact that I’m in […]