I sunbathed today. Yes. It was glorious. And it was only an hour, because it was during work lunch and because I didn’t want to turn into a total raisin. Homegirl is going to be 30 this year. Gotta start ironing out the wrinks before my pruning becomes permanent.
Any who. I’m trying to be less lame these days and work on NOT talking about the weather. But it’s sorta a big dill, amiright? Or maybe it’s because I legit don’t have much else to talk about…… my love life is its usual scandalous self.
Lies. It’s as scandalous as an elderly cleaning their dentures. Hot diggity dog.
Do I have anything else……………………
AH. Of course. The most excitement I had all day. And by excitement I mean complete mortification. While running errands, and casually walking past a mirror (to obviously check myself out, duh), I spotted toilet paper, at least 4 sheets deep, sticking out the back of my pants.
And I wonder why my dating life seems to be farting dust right now.
*Winning at life*
Clean yo clams. Seriously. Don’t skip this step. You’ll be eating gross sea tasting broth with a combination of sand otherwise. And never cook with an already open/broken clam. It will get you rull sick. And that’s seriously no fun. Take this from one who has experienced food poisoning from shellfish on numerous occasions (this has only occurred when dining out, assuming someone is trying to kill me). Anyways. Also don’t let this scare you. I live in the middle of the country and all of the shellfish I have personally purchased here has been excellent (I go to Bobs Seafood, Schnucks or Whole Foods). Heres a link with some good advice and steps to cleaning the clams. It’s SUPER easy:
Okay. Next. I like to add extra minced clams to the dish for a little mo meat. Because when in doubt, you can never go wrong with mo heat & mo meat. And to kill two birds with one stone, purchase the minced clams that are already in clam juice, since you need to add clam juice to the sauce. Sounds gross, right? But its necessary for flavor. And no this recipe does not taste fishy. Promise. Also for this recipe I purchased Bumble Bee (brand) Minced Clams, In Clam Juice 6.5 oz. Can. Haters gonna hate. But in this recipe it tastes just like the bottled. So whatever. And its cheap af. And buying a bottle of clam juice seemed gross to have casually sitting in my fridge.
Annnnnnd breathe. The notes are almost over with. I tend to type a little too much when dealing with seafood recipes because I feel like people are afraid of recipes like these because they seem so complicated. Or easy to screw up. Well, it isn’t. Just an FYI. And it appears to be incredibly impressive. When really my two year old could probably make this (just give him another ten years or probably more).
BLACK GARLIC!? What the hell is she talking about? Yeah. It’s a thing. And it’s a GREAT thing. And it’s sold at almost all grocery stores right now. Usually right around where the regular garlic is sold. Ask someone for help. Trust me you don’t want to miss out on this caramel-roasted flavor. Unless you live in the pits. Then it probably isn’t available and if it is NOT then just buy a normal head of garlic, drizzle it with oil, wrap in foil and roast it in the oven first before using. Or you can skip that totally and just sauté pressed garlic. But I recommend not skipping unless you’re really that lazy.
And if you can afford the calories, or just love eating carbs and never ever want to miss carbs for any meal because that would be the end of your life? Then replace the zucchini noodles with linguini. Just follow box instructions for boiling time, and add maybe a tsp of butter to the pasta after its cooked to prevent sticking together when you’re going to serve the clams over it.
That’s it! Wahoo.