my lavender blues

September 5, 2015

Gods Grace

Gods GraceI woke up today with a heavy heart. Actually the past nine months I have woken up with a heavy heart. But it’s a heavy heart that comes with a peace of mind. If that is even possible. It is. The peace of mind is Gods grace. I can’t give that credit to anyone else except the one who gave it to me. I know this because I’ve been really lost and in a dark place before and for the first time in my life there is this peace that is unexplainable. It is a peace I have been searching for, the peace that people will spend their entire lives trying to find when it has been right in front of them the whole time. And some may never find it. Or they may see it, refuse to believe it, and will continue this journey until death do them part. It is REAL peace. Not do yoga every morning, eat vegetables, stay in bed with coffee kind of peace, it’s the everything can be spiraling out of your control but you can face each morning and still look at the glass half full  type of peace. 

It has changed my entire perspective on life. Yes I’m going through a divorce, something most religious people frown upon or think I’m deserving of hell. I struggled with that idea as well for a short time and then I was reminded of Gods grace. I think all of us will experience a dark time, whether that be a death in the family, infidelity, a job loss, a breakup, a bad report, parenting oops, etc, and we will all be confronted with Gods grace –  it is just whether we choose to accept it or not. And not going to lie, I know a lot of people that refuse the help. I did for a while. It made every boulder feel like a mountain. But with Gods grace it now makes every boulder feel like a stepping stone in the right direction. And for that I am forever grateful. 

  1. Hanlie says:

    hi Julia, so happy you stopped by so I can found.
    This post really speaks to me. This heavy heart and darkness feeling has also been with me for awhile. And I found the same peace you are describing here, although sometimes I must really search for it.

    As I remind myself everyday, this too shall pass. Thinking of you in this season of your life.
    love Hanlie

    • Julia says:

      It feels good knowing that other people can relate to the emotions that I sometimes feel, especially during my current obstacle I’ve been forced to face.. Not good that you are feeling this way but knowing there are other people out there and I’m not alone. I still struggle and have to remind myself every morning (with coffee in hand) that I have no control and must trust what lies ahead.
      Thank you so much for you kind words. Really, thank you.

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