my lavender blues

March 19, 2020

Whiskey, Neat.

I originally titled this “Viral Insanity and A Recipe for my Self Destruction”. But realized I may receive some concerning phone calls and there is nothing I hate more than confrontation soooooo. Moving onward. Whiskey, Neat.

Where my hypochondriacs at!? Would be V into freezing myself ala Walt Disney until this whole thing blows over. But alas, that’s not an option so instead I’m actually having to try and cope with my current emotions and fahhhhhkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. They’re brutal. Feelings. Emotions. Thoughts of impending doom, blablablabla. The usual.

Oh you thought this was going to be a cheering up kinda post?

Shame on you. Ya’ll know I was for sure a d-day prepper in my past life.

But all jokes aside, I’m not joking.

And being at home with a child while trying to teach him some sort of educational subject that you have zero knowledge in (planets, dope) while you work from home?

“If mommy has one panic attack plus two bottles of wine minus three shots of whiskey plus two glasses of water minus one Love is Blind episode plus four e-mails to respond to, how much dark chocolate will she end up eating in bed?”

Don’t mind me while I pull out all of my eyelashes. It’s cool, really. Everything is fine. Everything is just fine.

Anyways, this isn’t me making fun of or taking light of our global pandemic. It’s awful. It’s emotional. It’s absolutely devastating. This is me trying to vocalize my feelings and figuring out how to grasp the reality that we are all currently facing and dealing with in our own unique way. Some of us are chill as mother fucking cucumbers and I’d really wish they’d bless me with their level of coolness. And then others of us are just super sour pickles waiting to be devoured. Holla at ya girl. I’m ten thousand percent pickle and zero percent cucumber.

So my recipe for self containment during this time of complete bat shit craziness?

Whiskey, Neat. ENJOY.

Whiskey, Neat.
 
Author: 
Recipe type: Cocktail
Momentary cure for anxiety during a pandemic, that actually works!
Ingredients
  • Whiskey, your most favorite kind ever, or whatever the hell is in stock.
Instructions
  1. Pour until you can't.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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